Fitness Success: Want Power, Not Will Power

Published: 2025-02-24

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I once met a woman who had a burning desire to live a normal life instead of one that was filled with pain, frustration, and all of the other negative associations of being overweight. Her name is Donna.

When I first met her, she had reached the end of her rope. She was 317 pounds, and she told me that she had two desires in life: The first was to live a normal life, and she would do anything to get there. Her other desire was to dance with Patrick Swayze. (Get down, Donna!)

She wanted to live a normal life so she could gain confidence and live without fear of being diagnosed with an obesity-related illness. Just like most of us, she wanted to be emotionally free.

Donna’s Transformation: How She Lost 158 Pounds with Purpose, Not Just Willpower

But she didn’t just wish for a healthy body because we know that doesn’t work. A wish is just a wish if there’s no action behind it; it just goes up in a puff of smoke and becomes a pipe dream. Donna was tired of that. After 25 years of diets that had failed her, she finally decided to take action on her desire to live a normal life and asked me for help.

Within the first month, Donna lost 20 pounds. A little over a year later, she had lost an amazing 158 pounds and went from a size 28 dress to a size 16. Maybe she’ll finally convince Patrick to join her for a dance next.

Breaking the Cycle: Why Wishing Won’t Work Without Action

Of course, her journey wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. But when Donna slipped up along the way, she realized that it was just one day, and tomorrow was another day. Tomorrow, she could commit to being healthy. She realized that it’s OK to have those days when you’re not as healthy as you’d like.

Just like you, Donna had many of the ingredients necessary to change her way of thinking. She’s no supermodel; she is a regular person just like the rest of us. Many of the ingredients she had are actually laid out in this booklet. However, the #1 reason why Donna was so successful was that she had clearly determined why. If her goal were to lose 150 pounds all at once, it would have been overwhelming, and she most likely would have given up. Instead, Donna broke her goal down into small, attainable steps, all fueled by her deeper reason—her why.

Finding Your Why: The Secret to Long-Term Weight Loss and Health

Finding your why is the shortcut to understanding what’s causing your pain. It’s the reason behind the reason. Here’s a simple exercise to show you the questions you may ask yourself to find your why. As you will see, it comes off in layers.

Why do I want to improve my food habits? Because I want to lose weight.
Why do I want to lose weight? Because I want my clothes to fit better.
Why do I want my clothes to fit better? Because I want to feel proud of who I am.
Why do I want to feel proud of who I am? Because I want to be able to live a long life and in the way I want.
Why is it important to live a long, healthy life? (And so on...)

You can see how digging deeper helps you discover the real motivation behind your goal. This clarity fuels your commitment.

Stop Focusing on What You Don’t Want – Shift to What You Do Want

Lesson 1: Know What You Do Want, Rather Than What You Don’t Want

No matter what, you have to decide what you want so that you have something specific to move towards. The reality is that most of us focus on what we don’t want in our lives or what we don’t want to experience.

For example:

I don’t want to have to wear this size anymore.
I don’t want to be overweight.
I don’t want to be tired all the time.

This is so important because we gradually focus on what we think about in our lives. If most of your attention is invested in pushing away the things you do not want, you inadvertently remain focused on those exact things. Ironic, right?

Mindset Matters: How Your Focus Shapes Your Fitness Journey

In the examples outlined above, if you constantly think about avoiding being overweight or tired, that’s where your focus stays. Instead, shift your mindset and focus on the positive changes you want to see in yourself:

I look forward to fitting into my new wardrobe.
I look forward to living happily at 145 pounds (or whatever your desired weight is).
I look forward to being more energetic.

This doesn’t mean that you necessarily know exactly how you are going to make it happen—that would not be realistic. However, the creative process necessary to get there will never be sparked if you’re endlessly focused on what you don’t want!

The Action Plan: Steps to Turn Your Fitness Goals into Reality

Focusing on what you do want is a crucial first step to catapult yourself into positive, forward-moving action. Remember, action is insanely important! The next time you find yourself struggling with motivation, remind yourself of your why—because want power, not just willpower, is what will drive your success.